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Chronic Illness

Needing Love Again

in

Start of a question about Sex

Hello Dr. Turndorf,

My name is Mike and I'm 23 years old. My wife is 42 years old. I know that 's a big diffrence in age, but ever since I layed my eyes on her I just couldn't stop thinking about her.

Here is my problem, for the first year and a half our sex life was great, but now it's like she doesn't even want anything to do with me. Is it me or is there something that I'm missing in this battle to get some love time.

Please help me understand. Thank you for your time.

Start of Dr Love's Answer

It isn't possible for me to determine what could be causing your wife's sudden lack of sex drive. I can throw out some possibilities and then you can rule out the possibilities one by one until you hit on the actual problem.

There are many reasons why a person can lose sex drive. Stress, depression, anxiety, physical illness, and hormone imbalances are all possible causes.

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Drug Addiction and Mental Illness

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Start of a question about Relationships

Dearest Dr. Turndorf,

I hope that you are doing well and that you are in good health. Thank you kindly for all the help that you provide to those who are in need. It is deeply appreciated.

Please help me. I need to ask you questions that I desperately need answers for. My name is Lara, I hope that you remember me. . . My father was very abusive verbally, psychologically and physically with my mother and my brother and sisters. He traumatized us and I fear that the damage is permanent and will destroy my whole family.

Start of Dr Love's Answer

I am so sorry to hear about the ongoing problems that you are having with your family. The aftershocks of your father 's abusive behavior just keep on coming!

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Flustered

in

Start of a question about Sex

This is the first time I've visitied your site...and glad I have. I do have to say my love life is very frustrating and more so for my wife. When she and I were dating I was able to give her an orgasm most every time we had sex, or so she says.

We both decided to stop having sex 3 months prior to our marriage so that our special day without any protection would truely be that. It was that, but 5 years have passed and she hasn't orgasmed since we were engaged!

Start of Dr Love's Answer

Sex is supposed to be a joyous experience in which partners unite in pleasure. Your sex life sounds like the two of your are training for an olympic event.

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Less Than a Woman

in

Start of a question about Relationships

In April i underwent emergency surgery and when i got to the recovery room my husband was crying when i asked why he said the took both my ovaries cause they were full of cancer that left a scar from my belly button to my pelvic area and then we found out i had colon cancer and had to get treatment.

none of my hair is falling out or any thing but i had to get a mediport put in my chest and it is visible my husband can't get sexual with me cause of the physical scar and mediport and i already feel like half a woman with my ovaries being gone.

Start of Dr Love's Answer

You have been through a nightmare. You are hardly less of a woman for having survived this incredible ordeal. You have come through a life threatening illness and you are scarred emotionally and physically.

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How Can I Get Him to Want me Without Getting on My Knees First?

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Start of a question about Sex

My question, I think, is a fairly common problem amoung a lot of people. I have been w/ my boyfriend for three years. We had great sex when we started dating. All the time and everywhere. Now things are different. He rarely touches me anymore.

If we do have sex, I have to intiate it all of the time, which is really beginning to irritate me because I get nothing out of it. His stamina has dropped greatly. I am lucky if I get 5 minutes out of him.

Start of Dr Love's Answer

You have a big problem. The first thing you want to do is to rule out mental and physical illness. Medical conditions of various kinds can affect a person's sex drive and performance. Likewise, people who are depressed often feel tired and without sexual interest.

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Am I Romantically Challenged?

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Start of a question about Dating

i have a problem. i will feel a flickering infatuation for a guy that i am friends with. i will sometimes feel a connection, an attraction, a happiness with him that i don't feel for my other male friends but when i don't feel it i get confused. i would really like to have a relationship but i get scared that it wouldn't work. that is the way i am with any guy that i like. i will feel the warm loving feelings and fantasize about a relationship and marriage with him temperarily and then nothing.


Start of Dr Love's Answer

First, you need to know that feelings fluctuate. We can feel warmly toward a person one minute and hate that person in another minute. The feeling of hate doesn't negate or destroy the feelings of love, it merely obscures it temporarily much like a cloud passing over the sun. The sun always reappears when the cloud passes by.

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Living with Jekel and Hyde

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Start of a question about Relationships

I have been living with a woman for over a year. She is caring, loving, and enjoys everyday life. However, equal amount of days it is like living with Jekel and Hyde. She cold, silent and acts as though I am in her space, even if I am in the house. She has always said people going to counsiling is stupid, they should work out their own problems. It is like a roller coaster ride, I don't know how she will be until I see her face. I try to be loving and respectful, however it is extremely hard when she acts hot and cold on a daily basis.


Start of Dr Love's Answer

There are many possible causes for mood swings. You are going to need to be a detective and rule out whether the problem is emotional, medical or a combination of both. From an emotional standpoint, your girlfriend may have a borderline personality, which means that she sees the world and those in it as either all good or all bad.

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Feels No Pleasure

in

Start of a question about Sex

Dear Dr. Love,

I'd just had sex for the first time. I had an erection, but didn't feel anything pleasurable, nor ejaculated. A week went by, and I had sex for a second time w/ a diffeent women and still didn't experience the pleasure needed to ejaculate.

What's wrong? PLEASE HELP

Start of Dr Love's Answer

Lack of sexual feeling can be a sign of physical illness, so see your internist and get checked out. If you receive a clean bill of health, then you can explore the emotional factors that may be causing your body to 'numb out.'

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Girl in Chronic Pain

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Start of a question about Relationships

I am 17, I have several soft tissue diseases and the chronic pain that I have to endure everyday is tough on my boyfriend. He is empathetic, but not sure how to deal with it when I'm am pain.

It is a strain on our relationship and I don't want to start feeling as if I'm a burden, like I used to when I first started having the problems. He has helped me through so much in the past year, but it is getting harder on him, I know.

Start of Dr Love's Answer

You have been on my mind ever since I read your letter. My e-mail program in box is so overloaded with mail that I have had to spend literally hours searching through all my letters in order to be able to find yours again. That's how much you touched me.

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Deprived of Sex

in

Start of a question about Relationships

My wife (21 years) has an illness (CIP)which causes extreme gastrointestinal pain. The disease is effecting every part of her gastro area. She has had the disease for about 10 plus years. We have been to most major hospitals and clinics on the East Coast looking for a cure. (CIP is what they refer to as an 'orphan disease'. Not enough patients for drug companies to invest $$ for research and medicinne)

Start of Dr Love's Answer

You are a very selfless guy, selfless to a fault. Yes, I know that your wife is ill, but what about you? You are becoming ill and depressed as well.

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