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He Thinks Sex Every Two Weeks is Normal

in

Start of a question about Sex

Hi, my name is Julia. Me and my boyfriend met a week after he ended a 2 year abusive relationship. His ex-girlfriend was cold and unaffectionate, and finally told him to leave if he wouldn't change. She would humiliate him, reject him, and hit him daily.

WHen I met him, he was in counselling and on paxil. 2 weeks later, I moved in with him, he stopped taking paxil, and we've lived happily ever after ever since except for 1 problem.

Start of Dr Love's Answer
If you've been reading my column for a while, you have heard me speak about homogamy, or similarity, being directly linked to relationship satisfaction. When it comes to sex--no pun intended--you and your boyfriend's drives are not at all homogamous. He is a sexual camel who can go long periods without it; you, on the other hand, seem to need more frequent contact. Such

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Relationship Jealousy

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Start of a question about Relationships

Hello,

The question I have is regarding jealousy in a relationship. I'm 24 and my boyfriend is 26. Our relationship was amazing in the beginning. We both shared the same goals, values, and interests. We both have no children and have never been married but we want to get married and have kids together and soon; however, he tends to be more and more jealous and possessive as time goes on.


Start of Dr Love's Answer

If you've been reading my columns for a while or you've read my book, you know that all relationship woes can be traced to unhealed childhood wounds. In the case of your boyfriend's jealousy, I am sure that he suffered some type of abandonment in his childhood.

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Relationship Jealousy

in

Start of a question about Relationships

Hello,

The question I had was regarding jealousy in a relationship. I'm 24 and my boyfriend is 26. Our relationship was amazing in the beginning. We both shared the same goals, values, and interest. We both have no children and have never been married but we want to get married and have kids together and soon

Start of Dr Love's Answer

You are in a tough spot with your boyfriend. The first thing I would do is ask your boyfriend if there is anything that you are doing--without realizing it--to make him doubt your fidelity.

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Wanting a Better Home Life

in

Start of a question about Relationships

My husband and I have been together for almost seven years and married for 4 years. We both have been married before and have children from those marriages and one together, a 14 month old baby.

We met from a dating service. I moved from Canada to the US for a job promotion but shortly after being here I had to return home because I was having difficulty walking. I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. Right before I went back home because is when my husband and I met not face to face, just over the phone.

Start of Dr Love's Answer

You have been so terribly violated by your husband, I'm still reeling from your letter. You must resume therapy and discover why you would even consider going back home to him. I can give you some clues as to why.

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I'm Desperate Here

in

Start of a question about Relationships

My second husband and I have been married for 2-1/2 years. We dated for over 2 years via long distance (me in Tulsa and he in Chicago). When we married, I quit my job, sold my house and moved my two kids here to be with him.

Start of Dr Love's Answer

What an awful situation you're in. If you truly believe that there is no hope of getting any comfort and reassurance from your husband, then why are you staying together? You must have some hope on some level things can change.

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You Can't Unknow What You Know

in

Start of a question about Relationships

Dr Love,

My husband and I have been married for a about 5 months but have been together for about three and half years. My husband has been married before but he says that the marriage was a mistake and that is why it only lasted for 6 months. I have asked a lot of questions about his ex and know quite a bit about his point of view of the breakup.


Start of Dr Love's Answer

I can't imagine why you would want to unknow what you know. That knowledge is precious and I am going to show you how to use it to your advantage.

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Newlywed Who is Falling for Her Roommate

in

Start of a question about Relationships

I have a serious problem. I am 18 years old and I got married 6 months ago. Now I am seriously having second thoughts. He is not at all what I would have ever guessed that I would end up with. It gets worse. We have a roommate and I think I am falling for him. There's not any sign, I don't think, that the roommate wants to be with me. It's just that everything he does and says is so perfect. He's just like what I always dreamed I would end up with. A guy who accepts me for who I am. I think that part of the reason I got married is because no one said I should. Everyone was against it.

Start of Dr Love's Answer

You are in a difficult spot. You say you married for the wrong reason, namely to rebel against authority figures who told you not to marry him. Can you say for sure that you never cared for your husband? Is there nothing about him that makes you want to stay with him? If your answer is no, then you have your answer. The marriage was over before it started.

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Your Wife Sleeps With the Toddler Instead of You

in

Start of a question about Relationships

Dr. Love, here's my situation, it's this, sex with my wife, is on her terms.

She does not like me on her nipples and she does not like kissing.

I think the kissing part has to do partly with her tooth problem.  She may need a root canal and she says her mouth is rotting.

In the past she has told me my mouth is dirty but for different reasons when we argue and call each other names. I can understand she does not want to kiss a mouth that is mean to her.


Start of Dr Love's Answer

This is a very complex question that you have asked. I will try to touch on as many layers as I can.

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I Don't Want to Fight All the Time

in

Start of a question about Relationships

Ok Dr. Love, I am so happy with the guy I am with. I see us being together for the rest of my life.

Our problem is we argue about a lot. But we get over it real fast. I don't like arguing and fighting then getting all lovey dovey. I don't want to fight or argue anymore. I don't want to ruin what we have.

I love him with every once of life in me what do I do to solve my problem. I try ignoring what would make us argue but then it builds up and that isnt good.


Start of Dr Love's Answer

This is a very important question. Chronic fighting does erode a relationship, so we need to help you both learn how to discuss your difficult issues. I have a new book coming out in January called, 'Till Death Do Us Part' ( Unless I Kill You First): A Step-by-Step Guide for Resolving Marital Conflict. I want you to buy the book when it comes out and put it to use.

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Lady With a Lower Sex Drive Than Her Hubbie

in

Start of a question about Sex

Dear Dr. Love:

My husband and I have been married for almost 7 years, together for 10 years. We have a great relationship and really good sex. The problem is, he complains because we don't have sex frequently enough. We have sex on average about once a week, sometimes more or less. We argue about this quite a bit; I just can't seem to want sex as often as he does. Advice? Thanks.

Start of Dr Love's Answer

It is not uncommon for partners to have different levels of desire.

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